the cat who writes

Write, take naps, and take another nap

Martha the dog, weighing in at 104, has joined Weight Watchers

Martha the dog is going on a diet

Martha, my bodyguard, went to the veterinarian with her young assistant, Penny. Penny is the eleven week old puppy I  hired to assist Martha in protecting my home from robbers.

Martha thought Penny might be stressed out riding in the back of the van in a kennel, so Martha  sat  in the kennel too and went in with her to her appointment.

Mrs. Hodges could have sat with Penny in the kennel as she did sleep in it the first night the puppy was here. But if she sat in the back of the van with the dog, who would drive? She wrote about her experience here. I slept in a dog kennel last night.

Mrs. Hodges told me what happened when the doctor looked at Martha. I was at home taking a nap in a sunbeam.

“Martha,” said Dr. Kistler of Runaway Farm Pet Hospital in Pennsburg, Pennsylvania, You need to go on a diet. You have no muscle in your legs and a fat belly.”

Then the doctor turned to Mrs. Hodges and said, “I want her down to eighty pounds. She weighs one hundred and four pounds now.”

It appears that Martha is not getting any exercise. Mrs. Hodges has been instructed to walk her daily. Perhaps she needs a letter put in her company folder for dereliction of duty.

“Mrs. Hodges did you walk Martha today?”

“Yes, Pooh I did. I walked Martha and the puppy twice today.”

“Keep up the good work Mrs. Hodges. We need to keep my bodyguards in top shape.”

Sometimes you have to check in on your staff and make sure they are following through on orders. My article on how to manage your business might help you if your employees are not doing what is required of them. How to manage your household like the best Damn ship in the Navy.

We are watching Martha’s weight now. We are Weight Watchers. We are watching her weight and measuring her food.

Martha will get her next Official Weigh In the first week in April when the puppy, Penny goes back to the veterinarian for her booster shots.

How much do you think Martha will weigh at her next appointment? Please tell me in the comments. The closest guess will get an autographed photograph of Martha and me.

An early morning meeting with Martha, my bodyguard


About Pooh Hodges

I have had a hard life. Born to a single mother in a back alley in Wisconsin. I never knew my father. My sister died young. I am writing my story. Look for it.

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This is an animal blog. Written by animals. Humans are only necessary to type for us. We don’t have thumbs.

  • Jennifer

    I’m going to say 97 pounds. 🙂 I have two chocolate labs, by the way. They’re the best!

  • La McCoy

    Hummm, This is a hard Question Mr. W. Pooh Hodges-den,
    Mom says there are more factors than measuring food and taking Martha for walks. How old is Martha? How long has she been weighing this much? Does she run up and down the steps? And run in the house. I do run-run in the house. Mom and I play hide and seek.
    Dad said I gained weight this year and Mom loosened my collar. I swallow better now.
    Mom wants to Guess 98. I want to think about it.
    And Pooh. I have a question. You said Mrs Hodges does not allow whining. I was wondering what she does with a puppy. Puppies whine and act like babies.
    I only whine when I am in pain. like last night Mom let me whine for a long time then she took me out and i did doggie stuff. When i was fine we all got back to sleep.
    Dad pretended not to hear me.
    Now you tell me Martha whines for snacks. Mom would never allow that. Mom would use my other name. Edel Stop that. I might get my favorite doggie nose tapped and could end up prematurely in my crate. I don’t like to get Mom irritated. IT is never pretty.
    Ok. Pooh Please answer my questions. I want to know.
    Love you
    PS that is one of moms favorite pictures.

  • Anastacia

    Hmm… That is a hard question. I’m not sure how fast dogs lose weight. I know it is usually pretty quick for humans in the first month of diligent exercise and watching food. It is usually later that we plateau and have to have a change to continue losing. I will guess Martha will weigh 99 pounds. That would be losing 5 pounds.

    • Thank you Anastacia, for guessing.
      I think the hardest thing will be for Mrs. Hodges to not give Martha extra food when she whines,

  • Kathy Storrie

    95 lbs.

    • Hello Kathy,
      Thank you for your guess. I will make sure and tell you how Martha does.

  • I recently read an article about how much better we’d all be if we lost 20 lbs. It didn’t say anything about animals, but a high BMI is not good for either man (woman) or beast. it’s bad for our joints.

    • Hello Shelley,
      If I lost twenty pounds I would only weigh two pounds. Perhaps the article didn’t mean cats too.
      Mrs. Hodges could lose twenty pounds. Actually if she cut her hair short she would lose at least ten pounds.

  • Amindele

    Your doing a good job. Probably a lot less!

    • Hello my dearest Amindele,
      I hope she weighs less.
      Mrs. Hodges is working hard to walk her several times a day.
      The doctor wants me to lose weight too, but I prefer to nap.

      • Amindele

        Well, napping is an important part of life too!