the cat who writes

Write, take naps, and take another nap

The cat thinks she is a person

Nepeta thinks she is a person.

Nepeta, the youngest girl kitten, thinks she is a person. She likes to eat her food on the table. When Mrs. Hodges feeds us, Nepeta waits on the kitchen table for her dish.

I eat on the floor with the other two kittens. Eating at the table doesn’t appeal to me. I would have to say,”Please pass the salt,” and wear a napkin on my lap.

I don’t understand the need for a table. It would be so much easier if people ate on the floor. And why do people use silverware? After you eat there are so many dishes to wash.

A spoon for scooping, a fork for picking up and a knife for cutting. Bowls, plates, cups, and pots to clean and scrub.

Mrs. Hodges, my senior staff and my typist, whines all the time, “I hate washing dishes. Who drank from this cup? Why didn’t you rinse out your glass? Who left the peanut butter knife on the counter?”

At our next staff meeting, I will tell Mrs. Hodges she needs to get rid of the table.

The second item on the agenda will be for her to start buying bagged people food. She can buy some with a minimum of 30.0% Crude Protein, 20.0% Crude Fat, 3.0% Crude Fiber, 10.0% Moisture, 0.1% Magnesium, 0.4mg/kg Selenium, 100 IU/kg Vitamin E, 0.1% Taurine, 3.3% Omega-6-Fatty Acids, 0.5% Omega-3 fatty Acids, just like what I have.

Mrs. Hodges will never have to cook again. My bagged food has chicken, chicken meat, brown rice, ground white rice, chicken fat, natural chicken flavor, and flax-seed.

The third item:

Mrs. Hodges can set plates out on the floor and eat like the kittens and I do.

Nepeta would like that.

And so would I.

The cat thinks she is a person.

Would you eat on the floor?

Please tell me in the comments. I am curious to know what you think.


About Pooh Hodges

I have had a hard life. Born to a single mother in a back alley in Wisconsin. I never knew my father. My sister died young. I am writing my story. Look for it.

Feature Box

Get my free guide, “12 Tips to Introduce Cats.” (Plus everything I write when I am not napping.)

This is an animal blog. Written by animals. Humans are only necessary to type for us. We don’t have thumbs.

  • MegWanders

    My 1.5 year old cat suts with the two boys on the stools at the counter and occasionally tries to sneak some milk from their cereal bowls. But we have found she has no self control when it comes to yogurt. She will climb up you trying to sneak some. My housemate and i eat on the floor because we feel it centers you to the earth more. (Its a yoga thing since she is a yoga therapist) so we had to get a table for the kids. They think its weird. We also got a 7 m old kitten 6 days ago and she is scared of everything but has her own lil rm. She has slowly been getting around but is kinda like a rag kitty. Just lays there and purrswhen held and scratched. Not much playing how so we introduce tbe concept of toys?

    • Hello my dearest Meg,
      How delightful your home is full of two cats. The kitten may take a few days to get use to playing. It is wonderful that she is not shy. An old paper towel or toilet paper roll is a good toy. You can attach a string to it as well and drag it in front of her. Just be careful to not leave the string on the ground as she might eat it.
      Give her time and she will start to play more.
      My kittens stayed in their room for two weeks before they felt safe to venture out. Now they run everywhere.
      Please keep me updated.
      All the best,
      Love Pooh

  • Amindele

    Hi Pooh! I guess humans are just weird that way. The family I live with always eats at the table and then complains about it being dirty or some such. If they were sensible, they would eat on the floor.
    – Amindele
    P.S. Why is your ear bent?

    • Hello Amindele,
      Yes, your family should eat on the floor with you. Then they can sweep up their mess and not have to complain about a dirty table.
      Thank you for your concern about my ear. I had a hematoma and it healed bent. I hated the cone on my head. The veterinarian said that caused it. I think it was from the dog dragging me around by head.
      All the best,
      Love Pooh

      • Amindele

        And, floors are easier to clean!
        Also, I am sorry about your ear.

  • Hi Pooh, I told M that I want to reply to this one. I eat and sleep on the floor for the past 3 days. We moved into our house on a promise that our furniture will be delivered….so cats are soft whereas people have hard bits. So its very uncomfortable ‘living’ on the floor. Hopefully today (Monday) we get our beds and table and chairs…
    M sends her regards. Will write soon.
    Your a very sensible cat Pooh, I like that.
    M’s secretary

    • My dearest Patricia,

      I hope you beds have arrived by now. If not, perhaps you could go and buy a large dog bed at the pet store. They even have wood chips inside to mask the smell if you hadn’t showered yet that day.

      Did Marshmellow ignore you for the first few days you were back? I just wanted to tell you to not take is personally if she did. She loves you and just wants to tell you how much she missed you.

      All the best,
      Love Pooh

      • Never thought of that. But our beds arrived and they are lovely and soft. M barely looked up. I’ll email you a few pictures.

  • Tink Caron

    Hi Mr. Pooh! You are a good writer and so smart. But I don’t agree with your idea that the People should eat bagged food on the floor. I think they should let us eat People food at the table, that makes more sense to me. Love, Tink

    • Tink,
      You, for a dog with a small head, have an amazing brain. I will suggest your idea to Mrs. Hodges at our next staff meeting. People food smells very good, especially the sardines.

      All the best,

  • La McCoy

    Dear Pooh,
    I eat on the floor. Thats normal isn’t it?
    This is a great Idea. Ill discuss it with Dad.
    We could line our bowls up on the floor like mine. I could sniff and lick them all. Mom washes mine once a week. So less washing for her.
    Now Mom washes the dishes while she cooks. Then she serves dinner in bowls with forks. No knives. So mom only washes the 2 bowls and 2 forks after dinner.
    Dad lays on his back laughing at the no smell black box. Telling mom to look at things.
    Moms puts her bowl on the table beside her and bends over the keyboard while she munches. She is writing a book you know. I watch carefully and scarf the the droppings. Unless I put my head in dads bowl then I am banished to the crib.
    Now that I think about it, Pooh. Maybe everyone eating on the floor may not be good here. I would be trying to scarf their food. Dad would be yelling at mom. Maybe i need to think about this some more!
    Love you Pooh.

    • My dearest Edelweiss,
      I wonder if the black box is something that would be good to chew? Perhaps tonight you can find out?

      It sounds like your mom and dad don’t like to share. Maybe today you can ask them again? Sometimes if you say please you get what you want. Stealing or whining are not good habits though. Especially in a dog.

      I love you too Edelweiss. Please say hello to your mother, and tell her I want to read her book.

      All the best,
      Love Pooh

      • La McCoy

        Dear Pooh.
        I do not want to chew the black box. It smell like nothing.
        Still my dad loves it,
        My mom shares tidbits with me. And any time she has a pecan she gives me one. Dad no.