the cat who writes

Write, take naps, and take another nap

Would you like a napkin ?

would you like a napkin?

Please Come to our home for dinner. We use cloth napkins. They are stored in the cupboard on the far right side of the kitchen.

Charlie, my assistant, would love to help you choose your napkin.

The napkins are all one hundred percent cotton and they come in a variety of colors, patterns and textures.

There are three cats who live with me who are my employees, Charlie, Nepeta and JR. And one dog, Martha, who I have hired as my bodyguard.

Charlie’s official job title is Domestic Vice-President In Charge of Napkins. Charlie is not responsible to wash the napkins or fold the and put them away. He will however tell Mrs. Hodges if she has not folded the napkins properly.

As  you can see from the photograph the napkins have not been folded with precision and they have not been stacked neatly.

It would not be beneficial for me to fire Mrs. Hodges for her careless behaviour, as she is also my typist. However I will have to discuss this matter with her at our weekly management meeting.

It is my responsibility to make sure this home is taken care of. I am the Executive Officer of this home. Mr. Hodges is responsible to go to work every day and get money to pay the mortgage. Mrs. Hodges is responsible for food and litter box management.

And I am in charge of them.

Now I must go and check to see if Mrs. Hodges has cleaned the seven litters boxes this morning.

“Hey, Pooh, I am right here, typing for you. Why don’t you just ask me?”

“Mrs. Hodges did you clean the seven litter boxes yet?”

“No, I have been typing.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Hodges for typing for me this month. Your life is more valuable as a typist than as a furniture mover. Please finish up here and then do the litter boxes next.”

“Of course Pooh. Of course.”

Please pass the salt.

Please click here if you would like to leave a comment. I love to hear from you. Is you home run by a cat? And how many litter boxes do you have?

 

 

About Pooh Hodges

I have had a hard life. Born to a single mother in a back alley in Wisconsin. I never knew my father. My sister died young. I am writing my story. Look for it.

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This is an animal blog. Written by animals. Humans are only necessary to type for us. We don’t have thumbs.

  • Esmeralda Esmeralda

    I love you Pooh, I love Charlie’s shameless expression, I love your cats Mrs. Hodges

  • Berdeane Bodley

    Yes please, I would like a napkin, I think they are (the napkins) put away pretty neatly, it isn’t always convenient to get everything just perfect, I think you need to lighten up a little Pooh, Mrs. Hodges seems like a pretty busy lady to me……….then again I am her mother.

  • Laura

    Hello dear Pooh and Ms Hodges too! We unfortunately have no cloth napkins for folding or inspecting, but Chase is in charge of bed linen inspections, making sure there’s adequate fur cover on the fitted sheet, flat sheet, pillows and blankets. Chase is also in charge of breakfast service, ensuring breakfast is served by 6:30 every morning. Pocono is in charge of housekeeping, making sure the floors are swept daily (this is achieved by making sure the litter is scattered across the floor in every direction (we have two litter boxes here at home). Pocono is also in charge of the decor – he accomplishes this by knocking everything off the shelves and tables onto the floor if it doesn’t meet his standards.

    I’m enjoying the series immensely. And thank you for the note about the catnip plant. I’ll definitely look into that come Spring!

    Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend Pooh and Family!

    Laura (my legal name – “elle” became a nickname when there were 4 people in my group with the same name…) 🙂

    • My dearest Laura,
      You are fortunate to have such hard workers in your home. Chase appears to be doing an excellent job making sure breakfast is at the same time every morning. Mrs. Hodges got in the habit of feeding us at 5:00 in the morning when she got up to write. Now we scratch on the carpet and her door every morning at 5:00, even on the weekends.
      Pocono is a wise cat to set high standards. It is obvious he works hard at dispersing cat litter and objects.

      Your pleasure at my cat stories warms my heart.

      I wish you all the best. Next spring please send a photograph of your new catnip plant. Chase and Pocono will be so happy.
      All my best,
      xo
      Love Pooh

  • Marie

    Hi Pooh —

    We are all quite enjoying your stories/writing this month. You are fortunate to have someone to type for you! Our Mom is not very good at this. And she can’t fold napkins either! It’s very sad. I am the CEO in our house and the others are supposed to listen to me. They don’t that very well most of the time. I am hoping for improvement, soon!!

    Purrs,
    William the Orange

    • Hello William the Orange,
      I am delighted you are enjoying my stories this month.
      Perhaps Charlie could write Marie a letter to instruct her on how to fold a napkin.
      The nice things about humans is that they are trainable.
      I wish you all the best. And I dearly hope the humans you live with will follow your instructions.
      Wishing you all the best, and at least one fresh mouse.
      Please give my regards to Marie. She did a nice job typing your comment. So there is at least hope for her.
      xo
      Love Pooh

  • My Dearest Harold,
    May I please express my condolences on the loss of your dear Mischief. The death of a family member, and your CEO is tragic.
    I am pleased to hear that Skittles has been taking care of your household since then.
    I assume that you are the main person to clean the litter boxes as the other staff members do not have thumbs.
    If you would be so kind as to share a photograph of your family. I would be honored.
    Mrs. Hodges and I send you, Skittles, Sierra, Captiva, Sabre and Lone Wolf our warmest regards.
    Fondly,
    xo
    Love Pooh

  • Harold

    Yes, my house is also run by cats, The CEO is Skittles she took over in August in 2013 when my oldest cat Mischief passed away(1993-2013)
    She delegated the various duties to my other cats, Sierra is in charge of waking me up and telling me that it’s time for breakfast, Captiva is the chief office/couch chair warmer, Sabre is in charge of inspecting all clothes that come out of the dryer, and ensuring that they have the
    appropriate amount of cat hair on them, Lone Wolf inspects all bags, and boxes that enter the house, In addition to being the CEO Skittles helps me read all of the mail, books, magazines that come in the house, you can’t be a good CEO unless you are up on current events. and we currently have 5 litter boxes, and two drinking fountains.