Last night, we sat by the fire and watched a movie about a dog, Hatchi. My senior staff member drew cartoons of me for my new web-site design, while we watched. She draws the pictures, but I get final say in the drawing that is used. She is, after all, my staff. I showed her which one I wanted.
Today I had planned on writing about litter boxes. But, the litter box story will have to wait. My senior staff member has lost her old pair of glasses. She has been looking for them everywhere. She has been writing about it for days. She looked under the bed, she looked in the glove compartment of her car. She still has not found her glasses.
I have told my staff so many times, “Cover the butter dish! Please cover the butter dish. Hey, cover the butter dish.” The kittens jump on the counter and lick the butter. This morning as I was making my inspection of the kitchen I saw that the butter had been licked, again. It wasn’t a mouse that licked the butter. A mouse would have bitten the butter and left claw marks from their nails.
When I was a young kitten my mother said to me, “Son, you must learn how to catch mice. It is a good solid profession. The mice you catch will feed you and your family. You can market your Mouse Hunting Business to your neighbors and catch mice for them.”
“But Mom, I want to be a writer.”
Martha, my dog, is my personal bodyguard. She sits by the back door of the house on her bed and makes sure no one comes in. When I go door to door selling my mice, she waits for me at the end of the driveway and protects me from oncoming traffic.
This morning I was up early answering a letter from Paws. He will be sent an 8×10 autographed photograph of me. My personal photographer comes home tonight from California. I will be sitting for my portrait tomorrow. Hi Pooh, I have an issue with my staff members, not really a problem, but I would […]
Charlie is really learning quickly. I am proud of him. He knows where all my three porcelain water bowls are in the house, and he is adept at drinking from them. My staff does leave dishes of water on the floor in the kitchen for the dog. There are always floating bits of dog slobber […]
I am writing a memoir. I want to start every sentence with I. I chased a mouse. I caught a mouse. I ate a mouse. I, I, I. How boring. I know the story is about my life. But there must be a better way to write it. I need help. My senior staff member talks about […]
Today is Laundry Day for my Senior Staff member. The younger staff do their own laundry; they are assigned a day during the week. Monday the cloth napkins are washed. I don’t know why my staff put the napkins in my sleeping basket when they take the napkins out of the dryer. I own seven […]
Charlie, my assistant, is now Manager of Proper Dishwasher Loading Techniques. He inspected the dishwasher this morning. He was making sure the dishwasher was properly loaded. My senior staff member has not been putting the cat food bowls in properly. Our food dishes often come out with food stuck on them or water spots. I have […]