Eight reasons why cats are better than dogs
The house I live in has a dog. Her name is Martha. Martha is a large dog. I tolerate her most days,and truly appreciate her when I vomit on the carpet and she gets blamed. Dogs are a good pet. However, let’s be realistic, cats are better than dogs.
1. Cats don’t stick their nose in your face begging to be walked. I politely sit by the front door waiting to be let out. I walk myself.
2. Dogs poop in public. How uncivilized. Cats use a litter box. I don’t want anyone staring at me when I poop. Can you imagine going number two in your front yard in front of your neighbors?
3. Dog poop is huge. Cat poop is small, and easy to scoop out of the litter box. If you have a small dog, they do have smaller poop. But if you have a small dog, you might as well just have a cat.
4. Dogs have to be brushed. Cats groom themselves. I bathe at least once an hour when I am awake.
5. A dog will not keep a burglar from entering a home. If a bad guy knows there is a cat in the house, they won’t break in. We have sharp claws. Beware.
6. Dogs are loud. They bark and prance around in a childish manner. Cats are reserved and dignified.
7. Dogs run away. Martha, our dog, runs out an open door, and will not come back when called. My staff run after her holding a piece of sandwich meat, yelling for her to return. I don’t have to be chased. I always come home after I walk myself.
7. Dogs chew table legs. Dogs are destructive chewers. My staff had a dog once that chewed her Italian leather shoes, and an antique bible. I don’t chew shoes or bibles. I do like paper towel rolls, but they are not expensive or from Italy.
8. I did have another reason, but I can’t think of it right now. I am going to take a nap.
All the best,
Can you think of any more reasons why cats are better than dogs! Please tell me. I will read your reasons when I wake up from my nap. And I may even use your ideas in an expanded version of my new book!
Would you like a free Illustrated copy of CATS are better than DOGS?
“Every word in this book is a lie… but you should read it, anyway.”
—Lyric the Dog, hater of cats, pet to Jeff Goins
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I was adopted from The Humane Society. I was separated from my twin brother and don't know where he is.