Five ways to choose a name for a kitten

My staff can not agree on a name for the kitten we hired as my Vice-President.

“Lets call him Bruce.” one staff member suggested.

She wants to name the kitten Bruce, after Bruce Springsteen, because we live close to Philadelphia. I wonder if she wants to name the cat by Springsteen’s  full name, Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen? I don’t want my Vice-President to  start writing poetic lyrics , playing the guitar, or starting a band. The kitten was hired as Vice-President in charge of marketing. We need to work on promoting our Mouse Hunting business.

Bruce Springsteen’s nickname is “The Boss.”  I am The Boss in this house. The kitten will not be named Bruce.

“I want to call him Toaster.” said the youngest staff member.

The cat does have a dark stripe down his back that resembles the slot in a toaster. However I am not pleased with the kitten being named after a kitchen appliance. I want our company to be respectable, how would it look on a business card, Toaster.

Another suggestion was to name the kitten Greg, from the Brady Bunch. I have never seen the show as the season ended in 1974. I think a more current television show would be better. Perhaps we could name the kitten Michael from Arrested Development, or Jesse from Breaking Bad?

We need to keep working on the kitten’s name. I will have to attend the next staff meeting and instruct my staff on how to pick a name for the kitten.

Five ways to choose a name for a kitten

 1. Put all possible names in a cup.       Have  the staff write the name they like on a piece of paper. They will  place the names in a cup. Have the senior staff member pick out a piece of paper and that will be the cat’s name.

2. Place the possible names on the floor.  Write down all the possible names  staff members have suggested and place them on the floor by the kitten. The piece of paper the kitten eats,  will be the kitten’s name.

3.  Observe the cat.  Do not name the cat for several days,  observe the cats behaviour. Get to know your cat before you name it. Is the cat curious, studious or a warrior?  You could name the cat George, Einstein, or Winston Churchill.

4. Look up names in a human baby name book.  Go to the library and take out a human baby name book. I really should write a book on names for cats. I think there would be a high demand. There are  too many cats named Kitty or Cat. People really do need help naming cats.

5. Ask the cat.  The cat will have this name for the rest of its life. The name will be on the cats business cards, and the name will be how other cats associate with them. The cat should be consulted.

The staff is having another meeting today. I will  type out my agenda and make copies to hand out to all of the staff members. I will be facilitating the meeting today. The kitten needs a name.