The Cat Who Writes™

I am a cat. I write.

Martha, my bodyguard, had her official weigh in at the Veterinarian’s office

Martha gets weighed

Martha, my bodyguard, went to the Veterinarian. She reluctantly got up on the scale to see how much weight she had lost in one month. Her food was cut back from four or more cups of food a day, to three measured cups. Before, everyone in the family fed her. If she step on her bowl and whined, someone would feed her.

Martha liked when she could have all the food she wanted. She would mope and stare at the staff members until they felt sorry for her, “Oh, did no one feed  you?” I will feed you.  Martha would gobble down the food as quickly as she could. Then she would wait for someone else to come in the kitchen. “Oh, did no one feed you. I will feed you.”

Please Mrs. Hodges, I want some more.

“Please Mrs. Hodges, I want some more.”

Martha didn’t know she needed to lose weight, until the doctor told her last month. She was content to sleep all day, be lethargic, and go for leiserlly walks, smelling where all the other dogs had peed. She never thought about loosing weight. Her main thoughts  are food, food, food, food.

I know how to lose weight. I could lose weight if I wanted to, but I don’t want to.

If you want to lose weight, eat less, exercise more.

Martha weighed one hundred and four pounds one month ago. When she was weighed a few days ago, she weighed ninty  nine point two pounds. She lost approximately five pounds.

Mrs. Hodges said she wanted to lose about five pounds. I think I will have her do the same exercise program I have designed for Martha.

Chase a ball down a hill and then run back up the hill to lose weight

Mrs. Hodges has been instructed to throw a ball down a hill for Martha. Martha will run down the hill to get the ball, and then run back up the hill. Martha doesn’t like to come back when she is outside, so she is tied to the bottom of the deck with a long rope.

“Mrs. Hodges, You don’t even have to be tied to the deck. I trust you to not run away.”

“Thank you Pooh. I am delighted you trust me to not run away. I like the idea of chasing  a ball up and down the hill. Perhaps you would like to join me?”

“No thank you Mrs. Hodges. I don’t chase balls. I only chase mice.”

My dearest readers, how much do you think Martha will lose this month?

About Harper

I was adopted from The Humane Society. I was separated from my twin brother and don't know where he is.

Get my free guide, “12 Tips to Introduce Cats.” (Plus everything I write when I am not napping.)

This is an animal blog. Written by animals. Humans are only necessary to type for us. We don’t have thumbs.

Join the Cat Club! Get Cat Stories