The Cat Who Writes™

I am a cat. I write.

Martha the dog, weighing in at 104, has joined Weight Watchers

Martha the dog is going on a diet

Martha, my bodyguard, went to the veterinarian with her young assistant, Penny. Penny is the eleven week old puppy I  hired to assist Martha in protecting my home from robbers.

Martha thought Penny might be stressed out riding in the back of the van in a kennel, so Martha  sat  in the kennel too and went in with her to her appointment.

Mrs. Hodges could have sat with Penny in the kennel as she did sleep in it the first night the puppy was here. But if she sat in the back of the van with the dog, who would drive? She wrote about her experience here. I slept in a dog kennel last night.

Mrs. Hodges told me what happened when the doctor looked at Martha. I was at home taking a nap in a sunbeam.

“Martha,” said Dr. Kistler of Runaway Farm Pet Hospital in Pennsburg, Pennsylvania, You need to go on a diet. You have no muscle in your legs and a fat belly.”

Then the doctor turned to Mrs. Hodges and said, “I want her down to eighty pounds. She weighs one hundred and four pounds now.”

It appears that Martha is not getting any exercise. Mrs. Hodges has been instructed to walk her daily. Perhaps she needs a letter put in her company folder for dereliction of duty.

“Mrs. Hodges did you walk Martha today?”

“Yes, Pooh I did. I walked Martha and the puppy twice today.”

“Keep up the good work Mrs. Hodges. We need to keep my bodyguards in top shape.”

Sometimes you have to check in on your staff and make sure they are following through on orders. My article on how to manage your business might help you if your employees are not doing what is required of them. How to manage your household like the best Damn ship in the Navy.

We are watching Martha’s weight now. We are Weight Watchers. We are watching her weight and measuring her food.

Martha will get her next Official Weigh In the first week in April when the puppy, Penny goes back to the veterinarian for her booster shots.

How much do you think Martha will weigh at her next appointment? Please tell me in the comments. The closest guess will get an autographed photograph of Martha and me.

An early morning meeting with Martha, my bodyguard


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I was adopted from The Humane Society. I was separated from my twin brother and don't know where he is.

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