My staff was given a Memo today: Seven Ways To Keep A Cat Happy

This morning I met with each of my staff members to give them their performance evaluations for last year.  Overall they did fairly well. They did not get a raise, but I did give them a bonus.

I am pleased with my staff.  It is important when you lead a group of people, to offer encouragement, and not just criticise.

I often tell my staff, “You are doing a good job cleaning the litter box out every morning.” Or I may say to a younger staff member, “Thank you for filling the water bowl.”

However, there is always room for improvement. I wanted to share with you the memo I gave my staff this morning.

Memo to Staff

SEVEN WAYS TO KEEP A CAT HAPPY
Please address these issues:

1. Stop putting the water dish under the Christmas Tree.
The needles keep falling in the water dish.  Do not take the tree down yet. I like to have it up until after January 6th. I want to celebrate the Epiphany, or Three King’s Day.

2. Please stop buying non-clumping litter.
I hate the texture. It feels rough on my paws.  My favorite is the clumping litter.

3. Buy Organic cat food. The last bag you bought has so much filler in it; I have to eat so much to get any nutritional value. I have gained a few pounds because of it. I haven’t complained before because I got most of my nutrition from field mice, but they are harder to find in the winter.

4. Stop closing your bedroom doors at night.
I don’t want to sleep on the livingroom couch. I get so lonely. I want to sleep on your pillow beside your face.

5. Please feed me at regular times.
I want to be fed at six in the morning, and at six in the evening. Eating at regular times is better for my digestion.

6. Keep the dog, Martha, away from my food dish.
I don’t like to eat all at once. I often take a nap in between eating. When  I come back to finish my breakfast, Martha has eaten it all.

7. Stop trimming my nails.
I don’t scratch the furniture like the younger cats. I need my claws sharp to catch mice. It is my responsibility to keep the mice out of the house. Please don’t make my job harder.

The memo was well received by my staff.

The water dish was moved.  My staff member said she would buy new litter and organic cat food today.  The bedroom doors will all be open tonight; I have my choice of pillows. I will be fed at six o’clock tonight, and Martha will not be able to eat my food. I will not have my nails trimmed anymore.

They may just get a raise this year.