The Cat Who Writes™

I am a cat. I write.

The cat thinks she is a person

Nepeta thinks she is a person.

Nepeta, the youngest girl kitten, thinks she is a person. She likes to eat her food on the table. When Mrs. Hodges feeds us, Nepeta waits on the kitchen table for her dish.

I eat on the floor with the other two kittens. Eating at the table doesn’t appeal to me. I would have to say,”Please pass the salt,” and wear a napkin on my lap.

I don’t understand the need for a table. It would be so much easier if people ate on the floor. And why do people use silverware? After you eat there are so many dishes to wash.

A spoon for scooping, a fork for picking up and a knife for cutting. Bowls, plates, cups, and pots to clean and scrub.

Mrs. Hodges, my senior staff and my typist, whines all the time, “I hate washing dishes. Who drank from this cup? Why didn’t you rinse out your glass? Who left the peanut butter knife on the counter?”

At our next staff meeting, I will tell Mrs. Hodges she needs to get rid of the table.

The second item on the agenda will be for her to start buying bagged people food. She can buy some with a minimum of 30.0% Crude Protein, 20.0% Crude Fat, 3.0% Crude Fiber, 10.0% Moisture, 0.1% Magnesium, 0.4mg/kg Selenium, 100 IU/kg Vitamin E, 0.1% Taurine, 3.3% Omega-6-Fatty Acids, 0.5% Omega-3 fatty Acids, just like what I have.

Mrs. Hodges will never have to cook again. My bagged food has chicken, chicken meat, brown rice, ground white rice, chicken fat, natural chicken flavor, and flax-seed.

The third item:

Mrs. Hodges can set plates out on the floor and eat like the kittens and I do.

Nepeta would like that.

And so would I.

The cat thinks she is a person.

Would you eat on the floor?

Please tell me in the comments. I am curious to know what you think.


About Harper

I was adopted from The Humane Society. I was separated from my twin brother and don't know where he is.

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