Therapy Thursday: My litter box is dirty and my staff won’t clean it

Dear Pooh Hodges,

I am a cat.

I know you get letters from people, so I wanted to make sure you knew I was a cat. The home where I live has only one litter box. I use it all the time, but my staff don’t clean my litter box every day.

I hate to go in the litter box when it’s full.  You know how it is Pooh, as you are a cat as well. I dig a hole and do my business, then I cover my mess with litter. I am neat, and very private. When my staff don’t clean the box, I don’t have loose litter to hide my mess.

When the weather is warm I go outside and use the flower beds as a litter box. The ground is frozen now and it is too cold to go to the bathroom outside. I really would rather stay inside on cold days, but I hate to use a dirty litter box. Should I start to use the corner of the living room on the white carpet until they clean my litter box? – Frustrated in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

Dear Frustrated,

Oh my, please do not go to the bathroom on the white carpet. Your staff will not be pleased. I went to the bathroom on the carpet when we moved into our new house; I had no where else to go. My staff put the litter box in the laundry room and then shut the laundry room door at night. I was fortunate, they thought the dog made the mess.

There are several ways to train your staff. I suggest you pick up the litter scooper by the handle and drop it at the feet of your staff. If this doesn’t work then sit on your staff’s chest in the middle of the night while they are sleeping  and meow until they follow you to the litter box. Humans do not like to have their sleep disturbed. They will do anything to keep you from waking them up at night.

My dear friend Frustrated, if my suggestions do not work, you may have no other option but to fire your staff.