Therapy Thursday: Paws staff can not meow properly

This morning I was up early answering a letter from Paws.  He will be sent an 8×10 autographed photograph of me. My personal photographer comes home tonight from California. I will be sitting for my portrait tomorrow.  

Hi Pooh,

I have an issue with my staff members, not really a problem, but I would like some advice. My staff members like to talk to me. Not in people language, but cat language. They try to make the same sounds I make, but they’re not doing it right. Sometimes I will make the sound again and again to teach them, and they will try to copy it, but they are clueless.

They mean well, and I know they love me and want to talk to me. How can I teach them to communicate with me (without driving me crazy with their poor pronunciation)? Thanks for your help! Paws

Dear Paws,

You really do have a problem. Humans meowing pretending to be cats, can be annoying when their pronunciation is poor. I am working on The Official Guide to  Catgo – How to teach Humans to Meow. The Japanese word for the Chinese Language is Chuugokogo, Nihongo for the Japanese language, and Eigo for the English Language. Following the example of the Japanese, our language will be Catgo.

Humans will never be able to speak to us, unless they have a manual. Until the manual is written , you will have to deal with the poor language skills of your staff. I suggest you just humor them.  Our main concern as cats is to make sure our staff understand us.  If your staff feed you on time, clean your litter box, and give you fresh water, let them  meow all they want. Purr a lot when they meow, and meow back, maybe they will give you a treat.

All the best,
love Pooh