The Cat Who Writes™

I am a cat. I write.

Would you like a napkin ?

would you like a napkin?

Please Come to our home for dinner. We use cloth napkins. They are stored in the cupboard on the far right side of the kitchen.

Charlie, my assistant, would love to help you choose your napkin.

The napkins are all one hundred percent cotton and they come in a variety of colors, patterns and textures.

There are three cats who live with me who are my employees, Charlie, Nepeta and JR. And one dog, Martha, who I have hired as my bodyguard.

Charlie’s official job title is Domestic Vice-President In Charge of Napkins. Charlie is not responsible to wash the napkins or fold the and put them away. He will however tell Mrs. Hodges if she has not folded the napkins properly.

As  you can see from the photograph the napkins have not been folded with precision and they have not been stacked neatly.

It would not be beneficial for me to fire Mrs. Hodges for her careless behaviour, as she is also my typist. However I will have to discuss this matter with her at our weekly management meeting.

It is my responsibility to make sure this home is taken care of. I am the Executive Officer of this home. Mr. Hodges is responsible to go to work every day and get money to pay the mortgage. Mrs. Hodges is responsible for food and litter box management.

And I am in charge of them.

Now I must go and check to see if Mrs. Hodges has cleaned the seven litters boxes this morning.

“Hey, Pooh, I am right here, typing for you. Why don’t you just ask me?”

“Mrs. Hodges did you clean the seven litter boxes yet?”

“No, I have been typing.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Hodges for typing for me this month. Your life is more valuable as a typist than as a furniture mover. Please finish up here and then do the litter boxes next.”

“Of course Pooh. Of course.”

Please pass the salt.

Please click here if you would like to leave a comment. I love to hear from you. Is you home run by a cat? And how many litter boxes do you have?



About Harper

I was adopted from The Humane Society. I was separated from my twin brother and don't know where he is.

Get my free guide, “12 Tips to Introduce Cats.” (Plus everything I write when I am not napping.)

This is an animal blog. Written by animals. Humans are only necessary to type for us. We don’t have thumbs.

Join the Cat Club! Get Cat Stories