The Cat Who Writes™

I am a cat. I write.

Wow, they finally let me out of the bathroom, and I met Martha, the dog.

I have been locked in the bathroom for over two weeks. Oh, I forgot to say hello. Hi, I am Harper. Harper Hodges. Well, really I am a kitten, not a Harper. Oh, and I met Martha. Martha, the dog.

harper meets martha

Mrs. Hodges, my typist said I was named after Harper Lee, a human who wrote one book about killing a Mockingbird. And, she just published another one. Something about setting a watchman. What did she tell him?

If I killed a bird I would eat it. But, I don’t want to kill a Mockingbird. And I am not sure what a bird would taste like. But, Charlie told me they taste good. Charlie also told me he likes to sneak outside when Mrs. Hodges opens the front door. I don’t want to sneak outside. I like it in the house. The sky looks too big. I like it in here. And Charlie told me what he does when he goes outside, but he asked me not to tell Mrs. Hodges.

“Harper, what did Charlie say? Where does he go when he sneaks outside?”

“Oh, Mrs. Hodges. Please don’t ask. You are so nice to type my stories for me. I can’t type, and I don’t know how to read yet, but I can tell you what I want to say, and then you write it for me. If you want to know what Charlie does, please ask him yourself.”

“Okay Harper, I will ask Charlie myself. Now, please let me ask you something Harper. Were you excited to get out of the bathroom?”

“Yes, I was! And, I was so excited to meet Martha. Martha is the big brown dog who lives here. The dog who has been sitting outside the bathroom door talking to me. Martha is big. Charlie told me she use to be Pooh Hodges, bodyguard. I wish I could have met Pooh. Sigh.


I really didn’t realize Martha was such a big dog. Like, really, really big. Like, BIG.

I knew Martha by her voice from when she talked to me when I was locked up in the bathroom.  So, when I met her, I had to remember she was kind, because her size scared me.

Do you ever get scared by what someone looks like? I have to think that they are nice inside and then I am not as scared.

Will you please say hello to me, so I can meet you? And maybe share a photograph so I know what you look like? I won’t be scared if you are bigger than me.

Mrs. Hodges said it is good to ask a question to get to know people, or cats, better. I want to know what kind of cat food you eat? I like Purina, the soft stuff in the can. And then we get hard cat food too. Mrs. Hodges threw the bag away, so she forgets what brand it was. Something with no wheat in it. I wonder if there were mice in it. Charlie said mice taste good.

If you are a person, do you eat cat food too?  Out of a bag? Or do you eat out of a fridge? A fridge is this big, big, big, cold box with a door, that has some sort of food in it. Green stuff and while stuff in a bottle, they call it milk.

I am getting a little tired. I keep knocking Mrs. Hodges Lego Mini-figures off of her table. It is a lot of work to knock them off, and then jump down. Then I jump up on Mrs. Hodges lap with my claws and pull myself up. Sometimes she yells when I do that, I am not sure why.

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Love Harper


About Harper

Hi, it's me, Harper. I help humans understand their cats. I write about what a cat thinks. I know because I am a cat. Mrs. Hodges is my typist. I dictate and she types. I am The cat Who writes.™

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This is an animal blog. Written by animals. Humans are only necessary to type for us. We don’t have thumbs.

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