Dogs need to be trained by a cat

My new bodyguard Penny, a twelve week old lab, needs to be trained. As manager of this home, it is my responsibility to train her.

From my vantage point on the kitchen chair I can see everything the puppy does.

“Penny. Sit.”

“Stay.”

Penny is a very good listener. When I tell her to do something she listens to me.

Mrs. Hodges is really trying. She takes her out every ten minutes to go to the bathroom. She has slept in the kennel with her, and slept on the floor beside the dog when the puppy whined at night. She even wrote an article: How to potty train a puppy in 7 easy steps.

But really. Is Mrs. Hodges teaching the puppy how to behave, or is the puppy teaching Mrs. Hodges how to be a puppy?

Someone needs to be in charge of training this dog. And it appears it needs to be me, a cat.

Cats can control a puppy’s behavior by simply looking at it. As you can see from the photograph, Penny follows my instruction quickly.

I do need Mrs. Hodges to walk the dog as the dogs legs are longer than mine and the puppy likes to run, and I don’t. I never run. I only stalk and pounce. 

But I tell Mrs. Hodges what to do and she follows my instruction. 

1. You are a person, the puppy is a dog.
2. Don’t try to be a puppy.
3. Do not let the puppy drag you down the street.
4. Do not let the puppy eat its poop, pick it up and throw it away.
5. Get the puppy really tired, so it takes a lot of cat naps later.

 Have you ever trained a puppy? If you have any suggestions for me or Mrs. Hodges, please let us know in the comments.